I'm a fucking poet.

Once, I wrote this thing that was super deep.

It was so deep, so full of emotion that you'll never understand, that it rendered me incapable of writing properly.

That's right. I threw the rules of spelling and grammar out the window and I haven't looked back since.

Because I'm a fucking poet and I don't need your rules.

Yes, when I say "it's ability", I actually mean "its ability", but who the fuck are you to judge words that stem from a feeling that you'll never be emotionally gifted enough to understand?

I can use commas wherever the fuck I want. If I want to use a semi-colon in a place that makes no goddamn sense, that's what I do because I'm a motherfucking poet. Why is this so hard for you to understand?

Just to rub it in your face, let me break all the rules and write a poem right here, right now. And you can read it, you can attempt to bask in its glory, but you will never understand it because nobody has ever felt the way I feel about anything ever.

This poem is called You'll Never Understand the Depth of My Emotion Because You're Not Evolved Enough (I'm the Anti-e.e. cummings).

I am crushingly lonely
And nobody will ever understand, the Depths of my loneliness.
Capitalizing is a formality that serves only to limit Emotions.
Can't you hear; how Deaf you are?
Your SCREAMS pierce me like your love never did
And I am left without feeling, without fault, without fear.
You broke my soul, And I cut myself with the shards.
I'm serious about everything ever
And you'll never understand.


Thank you. I expect the award for bloggiest bestest blog ever shortly. I feel this is my best work.

Thanks to super awesome roommate Kaitlin for assisting me in writing this poem. I feel like this is some of our best work of mocking shitty fucking poetry yet.